November is National Adoption Awareness Month

Today is the first day of National Adoption Awareness Month.  To celebrate this kick-off, I'm going to share some personal feelings with y'all, so sit back, prop up your feet and relax. :)

~Stopping to sip some ice tea...~

When we first held our son, I remember thinking how gorgeous he was and then this terrifying and overwhelming realization hit me that I was responsible for this little bundle of joy!

He would count on me for everything - I imagine most new parents go through this.

Since our baby was adopted, he would use bottles and I was so freaked out over the thought that I might heat the water too hot - I'd boil water, fill the bottle with water from the refrigerator filter, then set the cold bottle inside the boiling water to heat up the formula and take it out when it became hot and set it aside until it was cool enough to give to the baby...

Of course if I was to do it now, I'd just put luke-warm water in the bottle and give it to the baby. :)  (I know, genius...)

Oh the silly things we learn as we settle into becoming a parent!

There were also nights we would stay awake all night to sit by his crib just to make sure he was breathing, we were so nervous.

The first time I took him out, someone said, "He's so cute! Why would his real mother not want him?"

Ummm - I did want him - cute or not - his looks didn't matter to me, I was happy to be chosen by God to be his mother. To be honest, though, I knew what this person meant, they wanted to know about our sons' birth mother.  How could I possibly go into the diatribe about how she does love him, how she had prayed and hoped for a family for her son and when she saw our family profile, she said, "Yes, this is his family!"  How could I possibly explain how much she loves him and how difficult it was for her during the first week of his life as he was in foster care waiting for her to chose a family for him? We were in a Walmart check-out line for petes' sake there was simply no time for explanations. LoL

After that careless statement by that stranger, I realized that from that moment on, we would meet people who wouldn't know so-called 'appropriate adoption language'.  

And I realized that some people would never consider me his 'real' mother because there would always be another mother out there - a mother who had made the most difficult decision of her life - a mother who was so selfless that she entrusted another family to raise her child.  

I also realized that all the adoption books were right, that most likely this little baby that I stayed up all night watching him to make sure he was breathing and that he didn't have to have a wet diaper on for one second, a child that I held, rocked, sung lullaby's to would want to meet his birth mother - the sense that I would never be enough in his life - that I was 2nd best - was crushing and brought many tears.  

Hind sight being what it is though, I look back on this time because it also caused me to draw closer to God.

Through prayer, searching the scriptures, reading and contemplation, I've realized I'm not 2nd best, I am the best for my children - God entrusted them to me to be their mother.  He gave 3 different women the strength to place their baby for adoption.  I am so grateful for them and for the drops of love they gave me. These children are so precious and every day I am grateful to be their mom!

Well, this post ended up being a little different than what I originally set out to write, but wanted to share with you my heart.

May God bless you and may we all remember that this month is a time of reflection and prayer for those who have adopted and/or fostered as well as those who are planning to take that path.  Of course, our prayers should also include all the children waiting for their family.  Maybe it's yours! :)

A New Day...

This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalm 118:24

I love this verse.

Each sentence is declarative.  It leaves no doubt to the author's intent.

May we each be confident in the realization that every day begins anew and every day we can rejoice in the knowledge that our Lord will help us through.

God bless you today dear friend!

9/11 - Ten Years Later

Ten years have passed and my love of my country, my God and my family is stronger than ever!

I love America.  May God bless her and protect her.

Perfect Parenting isn't Just for Perfectionists (Praise God!)

We live in a small town.

We stand out in the crowd. Mark is Irish, I'm Cherokee/Scotch/Irish, our boys are Marshallese, our daughter is from Guatemala, our 2 little foster loves don't look anything like us either. LoL

You can imagine that we get alot of questions!  Why did you adopt? Why are you fostering? and the list could go on and on...  We also get comments that can be embarrassing, such as how we are saints for adopting and fostering.

If they only knew...

So anyway, I thought I would answer one of those questions today - Why did we adopt and talk about the 'real' side of adoption for us.

Let me start by saying, that I've read quite a few blogs lately, and these precious women like to 'keep it real'.  So in the spirit of that, let me tell you 'really' why we adopted...

We adopted, not because we are saints or extraordinary people, we adopted because very simply we wanted a child.

Months before we got married, the love of my life was diagnosed with cancer. His surgery, radiation and falling on our faces before God helped him fight that awful disease and those things also opened our pathway to fulfill our dream of having a family through adoption.

Just to 'keep it real', all those years of watching our children grow and change, there was always the question in the back of my mind, that this would be 'perfect' if they were with their bio families...You see, in a 'perfect' world, there would be no adoption but in our world it is a 'perfect' solution...

At least that's how I always saw it, until last year.

Our oldest son was stricken with an ugly and vile virus that overtook his little body.

He was in the hospital for weeks and at home for several months with a port in his arm - no one thought he would make it and most likely he wouldn't have if he hadn't been our son, living here with us.  You see, where we live we are surrounded by some of the finest minds of science and all these people from various states and areas worked together to find a solution to help our son survive.

Those endless days and nights in the hospital not leaving his side, begging God to heal him, sobbing over the thought of losing him (but only after he fell asleep) left me with a peace.

It was truly a peace that passeth all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

You see, this change in my heart came after one word that my very sick little boy said to me...

That word was "MaMa".

In that moment it didn't matter if we had the perfect house, car or what-have-you.

We had each other - that was perfect.

God's perfect plan for our lives maybe isn't what someone else would think is 'perfect' for theirs, and their 'perfect' plan is not what is perfect for mine.  :)  Everyone has a different journey to take and that's a GOOD and PERFECT thing! (James 1:17)

You see, my hubby and I believe that our children's birth parents were perfect for bringing these little lives into the world, and we are the perfect choice to be their parents to help them travel through life.

There is no shame nor guilt in the knowledge that they and us have teamed up to help these children be all they can be, that is what God wants from us - our perfect best.

It is simply the way it is...

As the seasons have changed and the years have moved past, our house no longer looks like a Pottery Barn Magazine like it did before we had children. Our furniture is worn, our sofa cushions have been jumped on, made into endless forts, the floor needs mopping, the clothes need to be transferred from the washer to the dryer, my window's need cleaning (just keepin' it real y'all!), and this is the perfect life God has granted us!

I'm so thankful to know I don't have to be a perfectionist to be the perfect wife to Mark.

I'm so thankful to know I don't have to be a perfectionist to be the perfect mother to our children.

I'm so thankful to know I don't have to be a perfectionist to be the perfect foster mother to our foster loves.

I'm so thankful to know I don't have to be a perfectionist to be the perfect daughter of my Savior!  (Ephesians 2:8-9)

My friend, my prayer for you is that you can let go of whatever may be holding you back - enjoy today!

God created you in His image! I'd say that is pretty perfect! =-)  If you want to change something, do it, but never lose sight of who God created you to be for His glory!

And remember, being a perfectionist isn't going to make you a perfect parent.  Love, compassion, and the decision to make this day the 'perfect' day for others is just a few ways to achieve that...

Let's encourage each other dear one, to pray that God will help us love our spouse, our children, our family and our friends the way *they* need to be loved and not just the way we want to love them.

Show them the kind of love that has no expiration, no restraints, no conditions... That is the perfect way - God's way - loving one another in the way He loves us. (John 15:12)

So, to end (and in the spirit of keepin' it real y'all), as nice as it is to hear such kind words of praise, I am not perfect in the 'perfectionist' sense of the word, I am simply, Anna Banana.

A woman who loves my God, hubby, kiddo's, family and country passionately and deeply, a girl at heart who loves to talk to my Mama everyday, a friend who'll ply you with food and coffee and will talk about what's going on with so and so (see I told you I wasn't perfect), a Mama to fabulous, 'perfect' children (just ask me!) and most importantly a daughter of the King of Kings! (Romans 8:15)

God's blessings on you today dear friend! Remember you are perfect in God's sight! (Psalm 139:14)

Preparing for School

It's hard to believe another summer has flown past and here we are just a week and a half from school beginning.

As we slowly start preparing the children for school again (stricter bed times and review of spelling words, etc.), I reflect back to last October when one of our sons came home sick, little did we know or understand that he was in a battle for his life.

It seems like yesterday we were facing those dark times.  We praise God that he is healed and here with us as we prepare for this school year.

Unfortunately, this is not the case for one of the friends from a Guatemala Mom group I'm a member of...

Just weeks ago, she could kiss the face of her sweet daughter, who happens to be the exact same age of our son who had been so sick and she was also going into the 3rd grade this year just like him...

But now...

Her sweet baby passed away after a terrible brain injury from a car accident.

Life is so fleeting...  Gabby's story here on earth has now become a song in Heaven.  We have the hope and promise we will see her one day.  Her Mama and Daddy are such Godly people and must find great comfort in the fact Gabby is in the arms of Jesus.

Please pray for them, the Lewis family, as their son, who is 5 was also injured as well as the children's grandparents.  All trying to recover.

As we prepare for this new school season, let's try not to stress over not finding 130 pre-sharpened #2 pencils or any other silly things.  Enjoy each moment, enjoy each kiss,  we don't need to live in worry or fear, but we need to live like Jesus will come any moment.

Blessings be on you all!

I Peter 5: 6 - 11

I Peter 5:6-11
6Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:7Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 8Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: 9Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. 10But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. 11To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.

Falling in Love with the Knowledge of having to say Good-bye one day...

Proverbs 24:12
Once our eyes are opened, we cannot pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act." 


Becoming a foster parent isn't a decision one must take lightly. You're adding a child or children to your home that have seen, heard and experienced things many times outside of the realm of your imagination.


Their hurt, their fear and their anger is heartbreaking to see.  You just want to take them, hold them and let them know everything will be okay and then make it so.


Given time, you will see their nightmares and night terrors give way to them waking up singing!  It takes much prayer, much love, much grace and alot of loving them how they need to be loved.


Some children come into your care and need more than what you can give them.  This is the most difficult of situations as you may find yourself loving this child and wanting to make everything right, but in the end you rely on the seasoned professionals that they know how to help each child get the *best* they need and deserve.


Foster parenting is certainly not for the feint of heart.  It is for those who have a heart for loving, helping and most importantly God's calling on you and your spouse.


When I wake up, my heart leaps for joy that today will be another day full of sticky kisses and hugs, boo-boo's that need kissing, books that need reading, teeth that need brushing, endless laundry to be doing, etc.


I thank the Lord for this calling in our life. We are blessed.

Foster Parents R Us

My husband and I recently made one of the best decisions we've ever made - we decided to become foster parents!

There are alot of steps one has to go through to become foster parents but we can assure you that on this side of it, for us, it has been well worth everything.

It's time for honesty here, we didn't know what to expect.

Here's what we found.  All children love to run, jump, play, watch tv, get hugs and kisses, tickles, bubbles, baths, go outside, and friends.

If you can provide love and provide basic needs for a child then you may well be on your way to become a foster parent.

Did you know some children need a single foster parent?  Did you know you don't have to be a home owner?  Did you know you can decide how many children you can keep in your home? Did you know that you can decide the age range and gender that you feel you would be best to have live with you for a while?

Did you know there is a need for respite foster parents who can babysit for other foster parents or keep a child or children overnight if the foster families have to go somewhere?

There are alot of options for someone interested in being a foster parent.  You will be provided a monthly stipend per child to help purchase groceries, etc. that would provide for your foster child's daily needs and living expenses.

This is not a way to make a living, it IS a way to help a child.

One more thing I want to leave you with...

It is FREE to become a foster parent.

The only cost you may incur is during the process of gathering your paperwork, fingerprints, doctor physical etc. But that cost is VERY minimal (approx. $50.00, but I believe I'm over stating the cost there).  But the process itself where you are interacting with the Social Worker is FREE!  Your classes are FREE!  If you can keep a child in your home but can't drive the child to visits etc., a social worker can do that!

If you've been thinking about fostering or adopting, I'd highly recommend signing up as a foster parent who does respite care and then decide if you want to move into more full time.

God bless you as you pray about what is best for you and your family.

Just registered to win at Baby Gear Today!

Win a @MelissaAndDoug Deluxe Puppet Theater @babygeartodayhttp://bit.ly/joRdeW!

Happy Mother's Day!

For many women who are mom's, today is a day they expect to be treated like royalty.  Spoiled, lavished attention upon, great gifts, well, you get the idea. =-)

However, for me, it's a day of reflection.  On Mother's Day, I celebrate being the Mom to 3 fabulous kiddo's who I would never of had this privilege of knowing, much less be their Mom, without 3 other women, making the greatest sacrifice in their lives - letting their baby go.

So, every Mother's Day, yes, I do celebrate this time but I also celebrate these other women who gave me the opportunity to share this title with them.  My heart swells with love and gratitude to these 3 amazing women.  How I wish they could know how thankful I am for the gift they each gave me.

There's an adoption poem that I would like to share with you.

Legacy of An Adoptive Child

Once there were two women who never knew each other.

One you do not remember, the other you call mother.

Two different lives, shaped to make your one...

One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.

The first gave you life and the second taught you to live it.

The first gave you a need for love, and the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name.

One gave you a seed of talent, the other gave you an aim.

One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears.

One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears.

One gave you up ... that's all she could do.

The other prayed for a child and God led her straight to you.

And now you ask me, through your fears,

the age old question unanswered throughout the years...

Heredity or environment, which are you the product of?

Neither, my darling neither.

Just two different kinds of love.

~ Author Unknown ~

Center of an EF1 & EF4 Tornado And We Made It! Praise God!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011, we woke up to a rainy day.  It wasn't one of those refreshing gentle rains, it was a yucky, messy rain, the type that seems to bring up dirt onto the side walks instead of blooms of flowers.

That morning proved to be filled with tornado siren after tornado siren.  Just when I thought we needed to pick the kids up from school, the storm seemed to pass and then there went the siren again.

I had just called my husband to ask him to come home because I just had a funny feeling that we were really in for a super storm when he told me he couldn't leave because they were under the threat of a tornado!

That's when we got the message from school that all the kids were being sent home, because it was being reported our area had a HUGE tornado heading our way!

My husband finally was able to get away and got home just as the kids got home.  We immediately went to the 'tornado closet' and my husband proceeded to bring in all the candles and flashlights he could find.  Good thing because we didn't know that about an hour later we would lose power for 5 DAYS!

As the day came to an end and the power was gone, we went onto our back porch and surveyed the damage to our neighborhood.  We were shocked by what we found.  Several of our neighbors had downed trees, one neighbor had a huge tree put a hole in the roof of their brand new home and all we lost was our butterfly bush,  well maybe the word 'lost' is a bit strong, it's still trying to hang in there.

It would be the next day when we spoke to family outside our area when we learned exactly how terrible the storms had been and that's when we decided to go to Florida.

Just today, we learned from one of our neighbors that we had been directly in between an EF1 tornado and an EF4 tornado.  It was a miracle everyone in our neighborhood (as far as we know) made it through okay!

God is sooo good!

This is a picture of our neighbor's back yard.

Our hearts, thoughts and prayers go out to all those affected by those terrible tornado's.

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter dear friend!


Today we celebrate our risen Savior! God is so good that He gave His Son who died on the cross for our sins and conquered the grave!


He did this for you and me.


My prayer is that if you haven't yet asked Jesus to be your Savior that you would do so right now.


Here is what you would pray,


"Dear Jesus, I acknowledge that I am a sinner and You died and rose again to save me. Please forgive me for my sin and please come into my heart.  Let me be a testimony of your divine grace and love.  In Jesus Name, Amen."


If you said that prayer and meant it, then you are SAVED for all eternity!  Praise the Lord!

John 3:16-18

 ¹⁶For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
 ¹⁷For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
 ¹⁸He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

May God bless you!
Anna

Twitter

Well, I've joined in on the world of Twitter!

We've decided to move to get rid of our credit cards and actually live on what we make.  This has been more difficult than I ever imagined! LoL

Hope everyone is enjoying this blessed Easter Week!

We praise God for His gift of Salvation!  God bless you!

Family, Belonging and Fun!

Caption: Rainbow Bright and the Blueberry Twins

(one of the ways we passed the day of being snowed in -

they loved changing their hair color with the hair spray!)

Today, I was reminded to update this blog when a newly discovered family member told me they were going to check it out! ;)

There are so many things to share and my heart is full of joy, thanksgiving and even belonging.

Let me begin this story by starting back in October of 2010.

On a Wednesday afternooon, I waited outside for the school bus to bring our precious children home - it's one of my favorite times of the day to be waiting there and have our kids jump off the bus, give them big hugs and hear all about their day.  That day however was very different.

Our kids got off the bus, but one of them collapsed onto the grass and started sobbing that his leg was hurting.  Even as a baby he rarely cried, so I knew this was 'big' and immediately took him to the pediatrician - I thought he might be having a muscle cramp or growing spasm, but to my shock the doctor said it seemed to him that Jacob had an infection in his leg.

I have never heard of anyone having an infection in their leg just out of the blue with no illness or injury preceeding it but we took him to the ER and there we were told after scans and bloodwork that it didn't look good for Jacob.  He had a terrible infection in his bloodsystem and his muscular system.

We were in shock.

Jacob was in the hospital 2 weeks battling this vile infection, doctor's were dumbfounded saying they have never seen a worse case and there were debates about how he got this terrible infection.  One thought was that he had this since he was born - it's very common in tropical areas and his birthparents come from and lived on a tropical island during the pregnancy, the second was that he got it through a scratch on his knee, but the only problem with this was that the scratch was healed and wasn't infected.

Just when we thought we would never go home, the doctor's decided to release Jacob but we had to give him his antibiotics every 6 hours through his port in his arm at home.  We were told to go home and enjoy our time with him and pray for a miracle.

We did just that, we gave him his antibiotic by IV through his port every 6 hours, we hired a home nurse and she weekly took his bloodwork to see how this vile infection was progressing.

Two weeks before Christmas, Jacob's port in his arm collasped and would no longer accept the IV nor could our nurse get blood from it, his little veins were collapsing.  We were horrified, scared and had no idea what to expect.  Back to the hospital we went.

Jacob wasn't admitted but, we were told to take him home until the doctor's who administered his care could decide what to do - once again we were told to pray.

We did as well as hundreds of people who we referred to as 'Team Jacob Prayer Warriors' did...

The week before Christmas, our pediatrician called and said the newest bloodwork had just come back - it was a miracle, it was all clear!!!  Not a sign to be found that Jacob was ever sick!  Praise the Lord!

During that time we had been in the hospital and at home, we watched alot of tv and there were ancestry.com commercials on all over the place - well, I bought into that great advertising and started researching family on there.  Little did I know when I started out how this journey I started taking would lead me to 'meet' wonderful, new family members!

As an adoptive parent, one always thinks of the future with questions - When will my kids know I'm their adoptive mom? - When will my kids want to meet their biological  parents and will they love them more than me? --- Let's be honest here, no one wants to think those thoughts, but we do...

Today, I realized something - a feeling, a thought of 'belonging'.  Today, I found and connected with family that I never met - seeing their pictures, I saw myself and my extended family members with matching features and many of the same likes, etc.

It was something I didn't think I 'missed' or didn't have, after-all I come from a very loving, close and wonderful family!  But, upon connecting with these new and precious family members I realized a completeness to myself and realized on a different and very personal level, how important our children's biological families are to them and will be more so as they grow.

I'm sure that sounds funny, that I just realized that - of course I always knew their biological families are important to them and us, but until today I didn't realize how by seeing pictures of oneself in fellow family members, could really make someone feel like they 'belong'.

Not sure if that makes sense, I've always had the gift of gab but not the gift of finding the right words to say... :)

Well, that's it for now and I'll try to post more often!  This past week has been crazy - a snow storm hit our area and schools were closed all week!  So, it's been fun being with the children, but I know they're ready to get back  to school and their friends!

May you have a blessed and happy 2011!
Anna